So, I know, it's been a really long time since I've written. I'm not really sure what exactly it is I wanted to say here, but I am feeling stressed and currently a little sad, so I thought I'd write to get my feelings out. Of course, I could do this in my journal where no one would ever read it, but I've already done that and it just didn't rid me of the urge.
I guess I should just say a lot has changed since I last posted. Something's changed that I was kind of counting on...well...not changing. It's helped me to learn something though. Actually multiple things. I've learned that best friends don't turn their back on you, no matter how whiny you are. I've learned that maybe we need to be patient to find happiness. I have learned that life doesn't always go as planned. I learned that we should never EVER take anything for granted, because you never know how long something will last. I have learned that God is there. He has been there for me as I've struggled with feelings of abandonment, betrayal, and confusion. He's helped me realize that things aren't as dark as I thought they were. Most importantly, He has given me hope.
When things first change it's hard to see a silver lining, but through much prayer and even fasting, I am coming to realize that there is a lot of good that can come out of any bad situation. So I guess that's what I wanted to share. I want anyone that's reading this to know that life is hard.
Dancers get foot surgery.
Straight A students get their GPAs ruined.
People you love sometimes disappoint you.
But that doesn't mean life is over, and it doesn't mean things won't get better, because they will. As hard as it is to see through the rain and the darkness, there's always light, and eventually that light will become completely bright and beautiful. The Savior has paid the ultimate price for every single hurt that this life has to throw at us. There are times that this hurt is incidental, but there's other times that hurt is introduced so that we can have a chance to learn and improve. We all have an awful lot to be grateful for. That's all I need to say right now.
May 9, 2012
February 20, 2012
Times they are a Changin
Typical post. It all began with me, deciding to get some homework done. You know, really use President's Day to it's fullest potential. Naturally, I had to just quick check my email first. And what should I espy there but a comment on my blog, making fun of me for my lack of updating.
So.
Here I am.
With an update.
Take that Alison!
There isn't that much to say, except that if I actually tried to say anything about my life right now this blog post would turn into the longest excerpt of written word ever viewed by man. This is NOT an exaggeration.
There are a few things worth mentioning. First is Swan Lake. I'm in it. I didn't get a single part that I wanted, not even one. Truth be told, I'm way frustrated. I'm holding onto a glimmer of hope that something's going to turn out and that it will all be alright, but that glimmer is pretty flimsy. I'll keep you posted on that, but no one wants to read my rants on this subject so we'll move on.
Secondly, I just completed my final choir fundraising concert of my life. It's been a long and crazy ride, starting with "Seasons of Love", progressing to "An Evening with Andrew Lloyd Webber" and finishing off with "Music from Movies". There were definitely some very fun moments to be had doing this show, and also some moments where I felt like tearing my hair out. Highlights included Footloose, dancing in J'ai Ho, and Dallin awkwardly singing the girls part with me in "A Whole New World". I also got to do some ballroom with Austin during Cinemagic. We danced the first few shows pretty well, but by the last show I basically laughed the entire routine. I completely botched a step and ended up sort of hovering around Austin while we traveled in a circle. Hopefully it didn't look so awkward, but it certainly was funny.
Finally (for now), I got accepted to BYU!! I'm really excited, but the prospect is very intimidating as well. I have been looking forward to college for such a long time, but now it is real, no turning back.
I really ought to do my homework now (oh AP Psychology, how I adore you), but I will likely post again. Sometime. :) For now, adieu.
So.
Here I am.
With an update.
Take that Alison!
There isn't that much to say, except that if I actually tried to say anything about my life right now this blog post would turn into the longest excerpt of written word ever viewed by man. This is NOT an exaggeration.
There are a few things worth mentioning. First is Swan Lake. I'm in it. I didn't get a single part that I wanted, not even one. Truth be told, I'm way frustrated. I'm holding onto a glimmer of hope that something's going to turn out and that it will all be alright, but that glimmer is pretty flimsy. I'll keep you posted on that, but no one wants to read my rants on this subject so we'll move on.
Secondly, I just completed my final choir fundraising concert of my life. It's been a long and crazy ride, starting with "Seasons of Love", progressing to "An Evening with Andrew Lloyd Webber" and finishing off with "Music from Movies". There were definitely some very fun moments to be had doing this show, and also some moments where I felt like tearing my hair out. Highlights included Footloose, dancing in J'ai Ho, and Dallin awkwardly singing the girls part with me in "A Whole New World". I also got to do some ballroom with Austin during Cinemagic. We danced the first few shows pretty well, but by the last show I basically laughed the entire routine. I completely botched a step and ended up sort of hovering around Austin while we traveled in a circle. Hopefully it didn't look so awkward, but it certainly was funny.
Finally (for now), I got accepted to BYU!! I'm really excited, but the prospect is very intimidating as well. I have been looking forward to college for such a long time, but now it is real, no turning back.
I really ought to do my homework now (oh AP Psychology, how I adore you), but I will likely post again. Sometime. :) For now, adieu.
December 30, 2011
Christmas Break
You know, I go into every break feeling like I have a whole world of opportunities awaiting me. I don't know exactly why I continue to delude myself. For example, this is me the day before break.
Ahh! I have two weeks off! Two blissful weeks of adventure! And endless productivity! Ah yes! And then, then I have the audacity-and we aren't talking about a music editing program-to make an actual, physical, tangible list of those great things I'm going to do.
Finish all my homework before the second week of break
Work out-get that stomach back in shape
Get up by eight each morning
Write at least three articles per day
Save the world
Tame a dinosaur
Their might have been some slight exaggeration there, but only very slight. Why? Why did I think I'd actually get up and do things? Silly me.
However, I hate blogs that are total downers. And isn't it awkward when people bash on themselves? I always feel so...intrusive. There we are, me sitting there, and the other person going on, ranting and raving about all those things which make them imperfect. I'm sitting there, eating my popcorn, taking a sip of Sprite (a real obnoxious sip too, letting you know that it's almost gone and I'm at the bottom of the cup. sluuuuurp), and finally I just feel like saying, "I'm real sorry to be here when you are obviously having a deep moment of reflection with yourself. I'll just go.". Except, of course, that would be considered rude, and probably socially inappropriate (especially the sprite part) so instead I feel obligated to say something lame like "No! Come on you're [great, talented, beautiful, skinny, nice, slightly obsessive, take your pick]." Just once, I'd like to be that jerk that says, "You're right. You know, I never really realized it until you said something but you, my friend, are a terrible person, and I don't think I can stand to be around you any longer!"
Does that make me an awful person?
Probably.
I also kinda feel bad for not doing that dialogue bit correctly. What would Mrs. Gessel say? And for saying kinda.
All grammatical and syntax issues aside, I really have digressed rather far from what I was trying to say.
What I was TRYING to say was precisely thus: I shouldn't bash on myself. I did accomplish some things this break. For example:
Ahh! I have two weeks off! Two blissful weeks of adventure! And endless productivity! Ah yes! And then, then I have the audacity-and we aren't talking about a music editing program-to make an actual, physical, tangible list of those great things I'm going to do.
Finish all my homework before the second week of break
Work out-get that stomach back in shape
Get up by eight each morning
Write at least three articles per day
Save the world
Tame a dinosaur
Their might have been some slight exaggeration there, but only very slight. Why? Why did I think I'd actually get up and do things? Silly me.
However, I hate blogs that are total downers. And isn't it awkward when people bash on themselves? I always feel so...intrusive. There we are, me sitting there, and the other person going on, ranting and raving about all those things which make them imperfect. I'm sitting there, eating my popcorn, taking a sip of Sprite (a real obnoxious sip too, letting you know that it's almost gone and I'm at the bottom of the cup. sluuuuurp), and finally I just feel like saying, "I'm real sorry to be here when you are obviously having a deep moment of reflection with yourself. I'll just go.". Except, of course, that would be considered rude, and probably socially inappropriate (especially the sprite part) so instead I feel obligated to say something lame like "No! Come on you're [great, talented, beautiful, skinny, nice, slightly obsessive, take your pick]." Just once, I'd like to be that jerk that says, "You're right. You know, I never really realized it until you said something but you, my friend, are a terrible person, and I don't think I can stand to be around you any longer!"
Does that make me an awful person?
Probably.
I also kinda feel bad for not doing that dialogue bit correctly. What would Mrs. Gessel say? And for saying kinda.
All grammatical and syntax issues aside, I really have digressed rather far from what I was trying to say.
What I was TRYING to say was precisely thus: I shouldn't bash on myself. I did accomplish some things this break. For example:
- Had a "stuffy" party with my cousin Elora
- Watched Season 9 of Smallville with my brothers...basically in the middle of the night...
- Convinced my brother to go buy Season 10 of Smallville the next day
- Written MORE than 3 articles TOTAL
- Done crunches about 5 times this break (5 days people, not 5 individual crunches)
- Hung out with my brothers, playing Qwirkle and Carcassonne
- Been dominated by my brother who does NOT dance at....Just Dance
Which leads me to believe that while goals are important, and so is using our time wisely, there is one thing which really is more important; family.
Plus, now I have one more thing to add to my list of things accomplished. I successfully used a semicolon.
October 27, 2011
Why?
Why do I never post? Why?
The better question may possibly be, why do I bother with a blog? I hardly update frequently and when I do update I'm sure there is a maximum of say...two...people who end up reading.
However, that isn't the point.
The point is, I have perfectly logical reasons for not posting more. It's like this: I have plenty to write besides this blog. Having a writing job (yay for earning money!) pretty much means that in spare writing time I feel obligated to do that. Add in school assignments, and all the novels and short stories that are trying so hard to burst out of my brain (or fingers), and that equals hardly writing on this blog.
However, since this blog is about dance in relation to my life I thought I'd add the newest update.
On the way home from school yesterday I was in a car crash. I was lucky that I didn't get hurt worse than I did, but got whiplash which will prevent me from dancing for the next while.
Last night while I was lying in bed trying to sleep I thought "why me?" and "this isn't fair". But when I think about it more, I am just glad to know that I was really blessed.
There were four people in my truck when we got hit, and luckily nobody got badly injured. My family knows the family of the boy who crashed into me, which made it a really sad experience.
I remember getting out of the car feeling so angry. My neck was screaming in pain and I couldn't believe what had just happened. My anger lessened immediately when I realized how badly damaged the other car was. I felt so guilty later when the guy came up to me with tears running down his face and told me how sorry he was.
You know what? It's called a car accident for a reason. No one was happy it happened, and we were all incredibly lucky. And I learned that I shouldn't be angry. People make mistakes. I hope that as I use this time to recover from my back and neck injuries, I can also spend time and look around and see how blessed I am.
I have felt such an outpouring of love and concern just in the past day since the accident. It's now been 26 hours and 10 minutes. And I hope that through the rest of these hours and days I will continue to count my blessings and look for the joy in life.
The better question may possibly be, why do I bother with a blog? I hardly update frequently and when I do update I'm sure there is a maximum of say...two...people who end up reading.
However, that isn't the point.
The point is, I have perfectly logical reasons for not posting more. It's like this: I have plenty to write besides this blog. Having a writing job (yay for earning money!) pretty much means that in spare writing time I feel obligated to do that. Add in school assignments, and all the novels and short stories that are trying so hard to burst out of my brain (or fingers), and that equals hardly writing on this blog.
However, since this blog is about dance in relation to my life I thought I'd add the newest update.
On the way home from school yesterday I was in a car crash. I was lucky that I didn't get hurt worse than I did, but got whiplash which will prevent me from dancing for the next while.
Last night while I was lying in bed trying to sleep I thought "why me?" and "this isn't fair". But when I think about it more, I am just glad to know that I was really blessed.
There were four people in my truck when we got hit, and luckily nobody got badly injured. My family knows the family of the boy who crashed into me, which made it a really sad experience.
I remember getting out of the car feeling so angry. My neck was screaming in pain and I couldn't believe what had just happened. My anger lessened immediately when I realized how badly damaged the other car was. I felt so guilty later when the guy came up to me with tears running down his face and told me how sorry he was.
You know what? It's called a car accident for a reason. No one was happy it happened, and we were all incredibly lucky. And I learned that I shouldn't be angry. People make mistakes. I hope that as I use this time to recover from my back and neck injuries, I can also spend time and look around and see how blessed I am.
I have felt such an outpouring of love and concern just in the past day since the accident. It's now been 26 hours and 10 minutes. And I hope that through the rest of these hours and days I will continue to count my blessings and look for the joy in life.
September 6, 2011
School.
So. So. It has been some time. Yes it has been. And it will probably be some time again, but I really don't care. Because I am doing my best. So hello. Thanks for reading.
I am just posting to say...SCHOOL STARTED. There will assuredly be more on that later. And a tiny bit right now, but not much, because I want to drive my favorite younger brother to soccer. Bam. There's just nothing you can do about it.
School is great though. Just...great. Here are my classes.
A1-Ballroom team. I enjoy this class thoroughly, especially because I am currently choreographing for it! LOVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE my dance. :) You had all better come see the performance.
A2-chamber choir. Love this class too, but it is going to make me very busy this year.
A3- AP English
A4- AP gov (seriously. Too much homework.)
B1- Photo. Sadly I need this class to graduate. Silly CTE credit. Good thing AnDIE is in that class with me. :)
B2- A Cappella choir
B3- AP psych. My brother helped me make the most epic binder and book cover for this class. I do love me some psych. If only we got to study Shawn.
B4- seminary
So that's the schedule of the schoolio.
I am just posting to say...SCHOOL STARTED. There will assuredly be more on that later. And a tiny bit right now, but not much, because I want to drive my favorite younger brother to soccer. Bam. There's just nothing you can do about it.
School is great though. Just...great. Here are my classes.
A1-Ballroom team. I enjoy this class thoroughly, especially because I am currently choreographing for it! LOVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE my dance. :) You had all better come see the performance.
A2-chamber choir. Love this class too, but it is going to make me very busy this year.
A3- AP English
A4- AP gov (seriously. Too much homework.)
B1- Photo. Sadly I need this class to graduate. Silly CTE credit. Good thing AnDIE is in that class with me. :)
B2- A Cappella choir
B3- AP psych. My brother helped me make the most epic binder and book cover for this class. I do love me some psych. If only we got to study Shawn.
B4- seminary
So that's the schedule of the schoolio.
August 13, 2011
foot continued.
aaaaaaaaand my computer was just really dumb. So let me just continue where we left off, shall we?
So there is probably my favorite picture of my foot on this planet. I'm pretty sure it is the cutest thing EVER! I took this at my second appointment after the surgery, right before they took the stitches out. It is probably one of the finest things you've ever seen. Tres belle, non?
More updates soon once I get my more recent pictures off my camera and onto the compy. Till then!
The Foot
So my foot is doing much better! Yesterday I tried for the first time to wear a normal shoe. Yeah. Not quite ready for that one yet, but I have been walking barefoot quite a bit and you have no idea how wonderful THAT feels! It's truly a blessing, I've missed my foot.
I also am feeling quite lucky that my foot is doing so good, because I start work in just like two weeks! On August 29th I'm getting back to teaching dance, which I'm ecstatic for, and then I get to start teaching at the Scera on the 12 of September. I am truly very excited for how well everything has worked out!
For more good working news read the next sentence: I got a job as a writer!!!! All my dreams are sort of coming true this year people. It's going to be a good one.
But back to the foot. I know you want to witness it's incredible journey. So here we go.
This is my foot the day of the surgery. It is sooooo round and puffy. It was hard to change with that, so I wore basketball shorts for about a week afterward.
I also am feeling quite lucky that my foot is doing so good, because I start work in just like two weeks! On August 29th I'm getting back to teaching dance, which I'm ecstatic for, and then I get to start teaching at the Scera on the 12 of September. I am truly very excited for how well everything has worked out!
For more good working news read the next sentence: I got a job as a writer!!!! All my dreams are sort of coming true this year people. It's going to be a good one.
But back to the foot. I know you want to witness it's incredible journey. So here we go.
This is my foot the day of the surgery. It is sooooo round and puffy. It was hard to change with that, so I wore basketball shorts for about a week afterward.
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