Prayers Being Answered

I have a lot of other things I could and maybe should be doing right now. I could be making flashcards for Chapter 5 and 6 of the Patterson textbook for Poli Sci. I mean, its the least I can do since after the second week of school I decided reading the full text just wasn't going to happen and instead decided that making flashcards of all the bolded terms and taking the end of chapter 10 question quiz counted as studying the chapter. Or I could be writing an essay about Moses chapter 6 for my Pearl of Great Price class. This would be great, because honestly this has been the absolute without contention best religion class I have ever had. I leave class every day feeling spiritually bouyed and like hey maybe I can actually make it through this maelstrom that is mortality.

Lots of people have commented that my blog makes them smile. That makes me feel good. I've been told many times that I write the way I talk and that its amusing. I intend to keep doing this and hopefully a couple serious posts won't turn you all away from this blog. See, the reason the blog sounds like its me talking is because I just write what I want to say. If I'm in a silly mood, the writing comes out silly. That's just going to be what it is.

Lately I haven't been feeling quite so silly. I know some of you would beg to differ who have seen me in different classes where I seem really goofy or whatever. That isn't a false side of me or a facade. I laugh all the time, I love laughing, and I love being happy. Despite that, there have been a lot of moments in the past month or so where I have felt really really down. Typically when this happens during the school year I chalk it up to stress. However, largely thanks to my wonderful husband, I'm not really that stressed this year. I have been on top of my school work, gotten plenty of sleep, and found the time I need to complete various assignments.

I am beyond grateful for all the good things in my life. I am crazy blessed and I know it. There are still hard times though when I know I should feel happy and I don't. Sometimes it takes a lot of effort to pull myself together and not show the whole world how unsure of myself I feel.

The only answer I have to combat this is that I have the gospel. General Conference this past weekend was amazing. I felt the spirit more strongly than I have during any other conference, probably because I needed it more. I approached General Conference with a lot of questions and a lot of pleas for answers and I was hit over and over again with the assurance that I'm not alone.

The Gospel doesn't make everything easy, but it makes it easier. I hope you all know I love you. If I come across as distant one day or seem off it isn't because I'm mad at you. It could be because I'm deep in thought or struggling or maybe just tired. However, I hope you all know that you're not alone and that no matter what you are loved. Anyway, there are my thoughts. Going to make those flash cards now. :)